What Is Intentional Motherhood (And Why I Chose It)
By Aaliyah Burgess-Richburg · The Very Intentional Mama · April 2026
Category: Intentional Living · Motherhood · Identity
I want to start with the truth, because that's all I know how to give you.
There was a season in my life where I was tired. Not the kind of tired that a good night's sleep fixes. I mean the kind of tired that settles into your bones — where you wake up already exhausted, move through your days on autopilot, and fall asleep wondering where you went.
I had given so much of myself to motherhood — and I loved my child fiercely — but somewhere in the pouring out, I had lost the cup entirely. I didn't know who I was anymore. Not as a woman. Not outside of the role. I just knew I was tired of being tired.
And I was tired of watching other moms look like they had it all figured out. The perfect routines. The put-together homes. The peaceful Instagram moments. I kept measuring myself against a life I couldn't see the behind-the-scenes of — and coming up short every single time.
"God had already given me something. I just hadn't learned how to be still enough to receive it."
That was the moment — not dramatic, not a single lightning-bolt morning — but a slow, honest reckoning. A quiet whisper from God that said: stop performing. Start being present.
And that is where intentional motherhood began for me.
So What Is Intentional Motherhood, Really?
Intentional motherhood is not about being perfect. It is not about having a color-coded chore chart or a capsule wardrobe or a Pinterest-worthy morning routine (even though I will absolutely share my Amazon favorites with you along the way).
Intentional motherhood is about choosing. It is the practice of pausing before reacting. Of deciding what kind of mother you want to be instead of just defaulting to survival mode. It's about asking yourself — not your neighbor, not social media, not the parenting expert you've never met — what does our family actually need?
It means living and mothering from a place of awareness instead of anxiety. Presence instead of pressure. Purpose instead of performance.
"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." — Ephesians 2:10
That verse wrecked me when I finally sat with it. God didn't create me to white-knuckle my way through motherhood. He had already designed something good inside of me — a specific calling, a specific way of loving, a specific family that only I was built to mother. My job wasn't to become someone else. It was to stop running from who He already made me to be.
Why I Had to Stop Letting Other People's Motherhood Define Mine
Here's what comparison does to a mother: it makes you a stranger in your own home.
You start rearranging your parenting around what looks good instead of what feels right. You start chasing rhythms that work beautifully for another family's dynamics but feel like a costume on yours. You lose your instincts — the ones God gave specifically to you for specifically these children — because you've been drowning them out with everyone else's highlight reel.
I had to make a decision. Not to be the best mom I saw online. But to be the best mom for my own daughter. That required me to reflect on our family's actual needs, values, and rhythms — and to start building something intentional from that foundation instead.
"Intentional motherhood is not a destination. It is a daily decision to show up — for your children and for yourself."
What Intentional Motherhood Looks Like in Practice
I want to be practical with you, because inspiration without application can only take you so far. Here is what choosing intention has actually looked like in my everyday life:
It starts in the quiet
Before the day gets loud, I try to give myself a few minutes that belong to just me. Not my phone. Not my to-do list. Just stillness with God and my own thoughts. This is where I get honest about what I need, what my family needs, and where I want to lead us.
It requires reflection — regularly
I am a big believer in writing things down. Not journaling in a performative way, but asking myself real questions: What worked this week? Where did I react instead of respond? What does my daughter need from me right now that I haven't been giving? Writing slows my mind down enough to actually hear the answers.
From My Amazon Storefront — What's Helping Me Stay Grounded
This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only share products I genuinely use or believe in. Thank you for supporting The Very Intentional Mama.
These are the tools I've personally used on my intentional motherhood journey:
→ [Guided Gratitude & Reflection Journal for Moms](YOUR AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK) — my go-to for daily check-ins → [The Power of Showing Up by Daniel J. Siegel](YOUR AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK) — changed how I think about emotional presence → [Mom Brain by Ilyse Shapiro](YOUR AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK) — helped me understand my own identity shifts → [Daily Planner / Rhythm Pad](YOUR AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK) — for mapping out our family rhythms without over-scheduling → [Loose Leaf Herbal Tea Sampler](YOUR AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK) — my slow morning ritual staple → [Soy Candle for Morning Quiet Time](YOUR AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK) — the small things matter
It means letting your faith lead
I won't pretend this is secular work. For me, intentional motherhood is deeply rooted in my relationship with God. It means trusting that He didn't make a mistake when He gave me this family. It means surrendering the control I was exhausting myself trying to hold. It means believing that His will working through me is far more powerful than any strategy I could manufacture on my own.
It looks different in every season
This is important: what intentional motherhood looked like when my daughter was an infant looks completely different from what it looks like now. Intention isn't a rigid formula. It's a posture. You carry it with you and it adapts as your family grows and changes.
You Are Not Behind. You Are Beginning.
If you found this post because you are tired — really tired — I need you to hear this: you are not failing at motherhood. You are just running a race that was never designed for how God built you. And you can stop right now. You can choose differently today.
Intentional motherhood is not something you achieve and then have forever. It's something you choose, over and over again. Some days beautifully. Some days imperfectly. But always with the awareness that the mother you are becoming matters just as much as the children you are raising.
You were not made to lose yourself in this role. You were made to grow through it.
"The most intentional thing I ever did was decide that my becoming mattered — not instead of my children, but alongside them."
That's what this space is about. That's what I'm here for. And I am so glad you are here.
With love, Aaliyah The Very Intentional Mama
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Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you when you shop through my links. I only recommend products I genuinely believe in.
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